Are you truly able to live this way yourself or do you, like me, find it to be a constant balancing act and frequent struggle?
When we have our own agenda we always feel conflict or guilt, an unsettling feeling inside. It is the evidence that we have not fully surrendered yet to the Lord. We are still trying to keep one foot in each world, so to speak. If and when we surrender completely and allow ourselves to be led and guided each moment by His Spirit within, then conflict ceases.
We can't balance anything unless more than one thing exists. If we were living as one, with God, there would be nothing to balance with or against. There would be no balancing act. There would be no more contradiction, but rather peace and joy.
That is not to say we are perfect. Our ego in the form of pride, ambition, fear, and doubt, is always hanging about trying to creep in and take over. That is why we must learn to meditate properly. It is essential for us to quiet our minds and remain consciously aware. It is through Conscious Awareness that we keep our egos from cutting us off from God's Spirit.
So, if we are still struggling, we may simply not be ready to give up our will, desire, pride, and other things of the ego. If we are too afraid or preoccupied to sit still, meditate, and give ourselves completely over to God, then conflict will always exist.